Thursday, October 22, 2009

What exactly is closure?

What exactly is closure? From the psychological point of view, as stated by dictionary.com

a. the tendency to see an entire figure even though the picture of it is incomplete, based primarily on the viewer's past experience.
b. a sense of psychological certainty or completeness: a need for closure.

Sometimes we find ourselves in these types of circumstances where we seek closure. But when we seek that closure, do we always get the type that we want? I was once told by a really good friend of mine that any type of closure is good. Be it on a good note, or even a bad note. Closure is always good because in the end if we do not resolve whatever conflict that we may be going through with someone else or even our inner beings, we will always have the "What ifs"

A "What if" is a statement in which we doubt a decision we might have made over something else. It is normal and healthy to honestly have these "What ifs". But there are the rare instances in where we allow the doubts to consume us. We end up doubting ourselves and our well being, which may cause us to go through some kind of state of burn out. We crawl into a metaphorical type of cocoon in which we conceal our real selves from the everyday world. And honestly we believe we are hopeless. All because of a simple what if. Instead of accepting our decision and whatever may have happened, we dwell in fantasies of what may have been trying to animate ourselves into thinking that it could be a possibility that the alternate reality we dream of will no longer be a fantasy. And there are the rare instances when said fantasies become reality, but how often is that?

As we spiral even deeper into the holes, we conjure up questions about ourselves, doubting ourselves and our very own existence. Always trying to look for the answer. But you know what, even when it seems like we go to the ends of the Universe for the answers we desire, it's ironic how the answer we seek has always been right in front of our eyes. But that we were too damn stubborn to accept those answers, and rather try to seek the impossible.

By accepting the "What ifs", the answers that we may not want, and accepting the fact that not all closure ends up the way we want it to end up, we will be living our lives easier. Rather than living in a state of hell in where we mutilate ourselves with mind games. In which is a portent to signify a wounded animal licking its wounds. We must accept that sometimes we can't always get what we want. That the answers we seek is sometimes the ones that are unbearable. But it is best to live in a state of mind where we are at balance with ourselves, rather in disarray.

I once lived in that state of "what if". But I came to the conclusion that it was all for the best, whatever had happened. That even if it may have ended on a terrible note, that there was closure. And that even if the answers I yearned for, were not the ones my heart wanted. That there was closure, that even if it may not have seemed like it; my life was brought back into balance.

I pondered on a "What if" that was irrelevant. That what I desired has always been right in front of my eyes. The company of amazing friends. The love of two wonderful parents and family. The company of beautiful people. My life is already the way I want it to be. I lived the past year with so many doubts and questions, but I had finally answered all them. I guess going through some type of state of burn out is normal. The type in where we doubt ourselves and everything around us. But you see, no "What if" is ever worth wasting a life away on. Just accept the closure that was placed before you, and if there hasn't been any type, then close it immediately. Life and all of its surroundings is already amazing. Don't let something as simple as a "What if" hinder you from experiencing the fruits of labor that life has presented towards you. Life is already immaculate, but letting that beauty burgeon, or wither away is all in your hands.

As for me, it's already amazing being able to live without any worries, besides that of school, ha ha ha. It can only get better. Obviously there will be hurdles, but from what I know is, "God won't give you a challenge that he knows you won't be able to handle on your own." So throw the doubts, what ifs, and everything irrelevant into the wind; and live your life, the way that it was intended to be.

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